After 20+ years of formal worldwide analysis on the subject of youthful males courting older ladies, I’m seeing the Cougar courting development altering. I’m excited to see the final barrier to male/feminine relationships lastly being dissolved and looking for its personal degree towards permanence. There are nonetheless older ladies who need a boy toy or a no strings hooked up relationship. They could be completely fed up with in search of one thing long run, do not need to remarry and benefit from the freedom of getting a good friend with advantages the place there’s restricted or no drama. And that is positive. As I typically say on my Cougar courting website,”There’s a lid for each pot.” However what I’m noticing and listening to from each women and men on my website is that the youthful males who are usually not “thrill seekers” or inexperienced at Cougar courting and the ladies who’ve gained constructive experiences courting youthful males and don’t need to return to courting males their age or older are on the lookout for one thing extra lengthy lasting, significant and, dare I say it? Everlasting.
Sure, statistics from my website are displaying that some ninety% of girls are on the lookout for love and maybe even marriage to a youthful man. The BBC reported in a documentary that 25% of our neighbors throughout the pond are fortunately married to youthful males. 30% of older ladies are open to and courting youthful males in the USA. Though there are numerous newcomers to Cougar courting, forty five% of girls who’ve dated youthful males earlier than and do not plan going again to courting males their age or older. I’m discovering that the older Cubs, primarily mature younger males of their late 20’s to 30’s and older, are inquisitive about long run relationships, particularly if they’ve beforehand dated or been married to older ladies. The Boy Toys (which is what I name the ‘serial gamers’ are typically males from ages 18 to mid and even late 20’s who’re inexperienced with ladies, laboring underneath what I’ve termed “The Fable of Stiffler’s Mother”, or thrill looking for with as many ladies as they will get preyed upon by. Sure, Virginia, the 30 yr previous male virgins do exist, and lots of of them are in search of an older lady to point out them the ropes. The fascinating factor is, as soon as they expertise a nicely rounded relationship with an older lady, they’re means much less inclined to endure by way of the immaturity, selfishness and lack of life expertise of a woman their age or youthful. That is when many Boy Toys convert to devotees of Cougar courting. As one younger Cub from Atlanta informed me, “I used to be not in search of love. I needed to hunt as many Cougars as I might and simply have enjoyable. After which I met this excellent lady from New York.” He’s completely in love; and is not love grand? He went from eager to work his method up the age ladder to falling head over heels together with his Cougar lady. I simply love when individuals discover one another, and as I typically say, “there’s a lid for each pot.”
Since Cougar courting is turning into extra mainstream in the USA, increasingly more ladies are popping out of the closet. I’m seeing extra ladies from the midwest and the southern states becoming a member of the location this yr over final yr, when nearly all of members have been from bigger cities resembling Los Angeles. The UK and Canada have traditionally been “out” and you will be onerous pressed to seek out anybody who has not heard the time period “Cougar”. Hate it or like it, it’s right here to remain so ladies are beginning to embrace it and outline it for themselves. It’s dropping its derogatory connotation and males are discovering that there isn’t a “one definition matches all” Cougar. Because the myths of the leopard print sporting, feminine predator provides approach to soccer mothers, secretaries, financial institution tellers, attorneys, the day-after-day lady replaces the adolescent male fantasy, and ladies have gotten extra snug taking a look at males 7 years or extra their junior and saying, “Why not?” And increasingly more youthful males are telling me they’re falling in love with their Cougar ladies.
Mainstreaming Cougar courting is resulting in world vast acceptance of this cross generational courting development; a development which is right here to remain. My members are popping out of the closet to their family and friends members. Actuaries will even agree that statistically talking, it simply is sensible for an older lady to satisfy, date, mate and marry a youthful man. I spoke with a retired Harvard educated medical physician lately who advised me that biologically it made extra sense for a lady in her sexual prime up to now and marry a person in his sexual prime. The ladies take pleasure in being with a person who’s attentive, affectionate, energetic, very important, protecting, enjoyable and has much less baggage than his older male counterpart. The lads love being with a lady who’s nurturing, mature, has life perspective, is aware of what she needs, is not needy, insecure or shallow. The pots have discovered their lids. The lids have discovered their pots!
It is just a pure segue and a straightforward look into the Cougar crystal ball to see the apparent: There will probably be extra long run Cougar and Cub relationships and marriages simply across the nook. Thrill seekers, nevertheless, needn’t apply.